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Life brought me here and gave me a gold edged path to walk, but I would walk through empty husks, broken eggshells embedded in my skin. Pain walked with me. Sorrow guided my path. The gold lined path suggested it was trouble free and those who saw me assumed it so. But I did walk with sorrow and pain. Whilst those twin guides remained invisible and made my agony invisible too...
The landscape of my mind, ash and sepia, burnt copper offerings cluttering up the corners, dark alleyways of alabaster with ebony benches to sit and muse on the dark a little while... I look down at the fleshy white insides of my arms, envisaging talons that claw along the length of it. Tearing open my veins letting dark blood pour out... And it fades again into this ivory cage. A pure whiteness seems to cling over me, suffocating... What am I now... What am I turning into... I played with the black feathers of depression for so long... I kissed a spiral of mad descent. Embraced loneliness and despair. Then I somehow found myself back on the seashore, walking along it with quiet bliss. Enjoying the play of light and shadow upon the shore, flickering and playing between the two... Where do I go now. The seashore of soft thoughts of light along my minds edge ebbs and flows in tidal waves. Thinking one moment, merely existing mundanely the next... Where do I walk to next... Should I stay here, or do I feel compelled to move somewhere else... When the flickering illusions wash over me again. The torn fleshy insides of my arms, the fly nibbling at the blood seeping from my eye... Do they return to not haunt me but maybe possess me. Me their idoltorous lover... When my dreams begin to fill again with softness when I still look at light and shadow. Stark dramatic against each other and I feel uplifted at their sight... Perhaps the tides are growing stronger. Coming up, sweeping me down, choking me. Then as it flows out I am in mundanity again, and I then rise and see the light and shadow and am exhilirated. Return once more to mundanity, before I am swept temporarily under again... Or am I playing too hard with light and shadow. Being burnt by the light, swamped by the dark, and playing inbetween...
I'm not sure... maybe I'm lost... maybe I'm not...
